8 Guys Explain Why They Take So Long to Text You Back

Every time you send a message, especially if it’s to a guy you like you wait in anticipation and the little butterflies in your stomach get to work. However; hours, days or even weeks pass and the dreaded double blue tick is still there with no reply. But why the hell do people do it? Let’s find out…

He’s just not that into you

“I have missed a few replies simply because I don’t want to lead them on. I may have got a girls number or got an old number from a girl I used to date and simply don’t reply. The lack of interest doesn’t motivate me to reply; sometimes the initial texts back and for are just for attention, but then they soon to lose their appeal. Sorry girls!” Jack N

S&LC verdict:

 Fair, but we think honesty is the best policy. Nobody likes to be ghosted.

Moving swiftly on

“In the past I have not replied to messages only when I have met someone else. I don’t see that it’s fair to carry on texting a girl if I’ve met someone or even texting someone else. I have let a few text conversations fade out as a way of moving on with another interest. It’s not personal; maybe I should be just be honest and upfront if that happens again.” Tom G

S&LC verdict:

 We like this guy. Leading people on is not cool.

Sex is off the table

“OK, I know this sounds bad but I have avoided texting back when I have realised we are not getting anywhere. I have sent the odd text to see if sex was on the cards, and when it’s not for whatever reason, or I’m just not feeling it, I just can’t text back. I may invite them out, or over to mine and if they’re not playing ball, then the game is over.” Thomas S

S&LC verdict:

 Really, mate?


“I’ve not texted a girl back before basically because I didn’t know what was going on. She was difficult to read, I wasn’t sure if she fancied me and all the texts were general convos and nothing flirty. There were no signs or flirting back and for so I thought I was wasting my time. Whether she did really like me I guess I will never know. Maybe I should text her actually and find out!” Roger H

S&LC verdict:

 Communication is a lubrication. You gotta find out what’s going on before you can move forward.

Bored game

“Sometimes I get a text from a girl on some dating site and I know exactly what it’s going to say, ‘hey, how are you, what you up to?’. I just know that if I reply or even open it we will be texting back a forth about boring casual stuff that leads to nothing. I do get bored by texts and will probably only reply if it’s something new, exciting or different. The boring day to day chat I can get that in work!” Nathan T

S&LC verdict:

 Step up your texting game, people. This goes for both sexes – you gotta keep it interesting to get their attention

No time

“I know this sounds like a stupid excuse but I sometimes get too busy! I work loads in the week and play sports on the weekend and if a girl texts me asking me to do something when I already have plans or it’s out of my routine then I have been known not to text back. I guess this is just avoidance of not actually saying no, but when I’m too busy or got a busy week ahead I just don’t bother texting back.” Carl F

S&LC verdict:

 This is fair, but you need to make sure the other person knows this is the case. And the “I’m really focused on my career” is a tired excuse – leave it out.

All out effort

“Very often I’ve felt like I’m the only one putting effort in. It wouldn’t be so bad if she texted me first every now and then, but it was always me asking how her day went or if she was out in the night. I just got fed up of it. I played a game with myself that if I didn’t chase her on the text, would she even notice we didn’t speak. So I didn’t reply to her last message, which didn’t really have any questions in it and we haven’t spoken since.” Matt B

S&LC verdict:

 We feel for you. Effort is a two way street, and if the other person just isn’t putting it in, you’re better off without. 


“Guys of my generation call people on the phone and actually talk. Getting texts messages all the time confuses me. Most of them don’t make sense and it takes too long to reply. Just phone me or I’ll phone you, ‘Do you want to go out tonight?’ Yes, job done! Smiley faces and emojis is something I’m just not getting used to. I have been known not to text back because I simply haven’t got a clue what to say.” Daniel T

S&LC verdict:

 We’re confused by this one. It’s the 21st century so get with the times. Unless you’re a teenager, no one speaks only in acronyms or emojis. LOL is dead, so there’s really no excuse.

This was a guest post written by Grace Martin in collaboration with upforit.com.


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