Wouldn’t it be just swell if we could spot all the bad boys before we date them…and actively avoid them like the plague? I cannot count the amount of times I’ve fallen for empty promises and fake sentiments, believing what I’ve got is real…only to be hit with reality down the line. If I could rewind and know he was a fuckboy before I fell hard, I’d do it without a second thought.
Whilst we can’t change the past, we can learn lessons and use them to spot a fuckboy before it’s too late. I have AMPLE experience in this field and I am thus lucky enough to offer you gems that will help you side-step the future fuckboys.
Fuckboy checklist? Check. Let’s go.
1.He’s super full-on from the get go
I’ve fallen for this many a time. So you think you’re special? You think it’s a genuine connection? Let me guess – he WhatsApps all day every day and sends you cute personal Snapchats and calls you baby? But wait…roll on a few weeks and suddenly, he’s going ghost on you. Yap. Fuckboy. He can’t keep this kind of attention up because it’s FAKE and 9/10 he is doing it to other girls too. He enjoys the fishing but once he’s reeled you right in, it’s game over my friend.
2.Will only interact with you on one social media platform
If he doesn’t ever want private conversations but will engage with you on his social media, chances are you’re just a media ‘fluffer’ for him to feel good about having more attention. Or, he’s trying to make others jealous with his copious female attention. Either option = fuckboy.
3.Deletes any of your comments on his public page that suggests you’re more than friends
This is clear fuckboy status. If you write anything on his public social profiles that insinuates you two are more than friends, even if it’s just a stupid heart emoji, and he then deletes it…he’s hiding you. From what or why it does not matter, just know he’s a fuckboy. Oh, and he’ll come up with some ‘I’m so private’ lame response if you ever mention it. He isn’t, he just ain’t being genuine.
4.Refuses to have an actual phone call
It’s almost like he cannot comprehend what that green button means. Yes, it is ‘answer’ and it usually appears once your phone is ringing, along with a red button too. Most genuine men do want to have real interactions with you, which extends to phone calls. I’ve had guys ring me before with no other reason in mind except just to chat. Guys DO like to chat too. If he refuses to call you or pick up your calls…this is an obvious warning sign. He just isn’t that bothered by you…not enough to create an actual connection. Ergo, fuckboy.
5.But yet, when he’s at yours, his phone never leaves his side / is face down
Don’t even get me fucking started. How many times is the dude unavailable when you make contact, yet when he’s chilling at yours, the phone is glued to his hand? Or, he puts it face down on the side on silent and checks it every now and again, standing there in silence for no reason. URGH. I hate this sly behaviour. There’s a clear reason why he doesn’t want you seeing his screen flash up, and it ain’t because his mum texts asking how you are. It’s got fuckboy written alllllllllllllll over it.
6.Is always online but rarely texts you back
This is the ultimate in dating frustration, especially when he acts like you’re a naggy cunt for eventually bringing it up. If he is constantly online on Whatsapp but you get like 3 texts a day if that…he IS texting someone else. No, it ain’t his brother George. No, it ain’t his accountant. Wise up girls. When a guy is into a girl…he wants constant communication too. Fuck, even work won’t stop him. Trust me on this – even big ass career ballers will call and text you throughout the day. If it isn’t you that is constantly on his Whatsapp chat, then it’s another side chick. FUCKBOY.
7.Cancels plans but always has an elaborate excuse
Listen up you selfish twats…if you cancel plans with a girl last minute for no real reason, you’re a grade A tosser. She’ll probably have spent the past few hours getting herself sorted, might even have planned a new outfit…all to impress you and show her at her best. When you swerve the date last minute, she WILL feel let down and fucking shit. Girls – if he cancels plans a lot and doesn’t really have concrete reasons, he is just showing you that you are not his priority and that, probably, he just found better plans with another girl. You might have even just been back up in case his primary dates fell through. Fuck boy and a half. Ditch immediately.
8.Cannot ‘commit’ or label what you two even are
Oh bore off you complete jackass. Too scared to commit? Get freaked out by the word relationship? Want to keep things chill as they are? Yeah, that’s cool bro but it’s been 6 months and I ain’t screwing anyone else so how comes you can fuck an entire Netball team and still tell me I’m special!! Okay whilst that scenario never happened, you get where I’m at with this. If he refuses to give you the loyalty and label, bin that cunt off. He’s a boy. You need a man. Girls, men are very territorial. They want their stuff to be theirs. They are also very protective over their stuff too. So, if he wants YOU, then he won’t want anyone else sniffing around you, ergo, will want to label the shit out of it. Any lame excuse not to do so is just because….wait for it….he doesn’t want to. Fuckboyyyyy.