My dear friend Alex once said to me “What are you going to do with the blog once you settle down? People want to know about your shit one night stands who tried to fuck you in the arse…not what a lovely Sunday walk you had.” Whilst he didn’t need to be so crude, he was spot on with a huge worry of mine. HUGE. What the fuck will happen to the ‘single London socialite’ and my blog once I fall in love? Well, the fears have all come true. I have met…the Love of My Life.
Let’s do a recap so ya’ll up to speed. For 6 long years I’ve documented on Sex & London City (rather graphically) my shit dates, failed romances and weird AF trysts…all on my quest for true love. A hopeless romantic at heart, I’ve always believed that one day I would stumble upon ‘The One’ and my entire world would shift focus and flip 180. I will confess, it’s a difficult belief to hold on to when the universe constantly gives you a pile of shit cunts to date. When I say shit cunts to date, I mean I often strongly felt like this:
However, even in the face of extreme douche-bag adversity, my dream of true love prevailed. Finally. You’re all wondering who what/when/where/how, am I right? Well for once I don’t feel like kissing and telling! Who woulda thought it – when I found him, I want to keep him private! Beats the shit outta me. The glory (or do I mean gory?!) details of my relationship will stay private, but I will divulge what is required to tell you all about falling in REAL love. Strap yourselves in mother fuckers, you’re in for the ride of your life.
If you imagined falling in love to be just like the movies… a whirlwind of instant chemistry and dramatic love anecdotes with someone you feel you’ve known forever but only met a day ago…you’d be right. It also comes when you least expect it (I know I know, such a fucking cliche). Everyone can tell you that you’re being unrealistic and love doesn’t work that way, but they’re wrong and you have my permission to staple their lips shut. Joking…that’s assault. Anyway, true love is EXACTLY like it is portrayed in the movies.
When I first met Snow, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. In fact, I had just dramatically resigned from my job with no next career move in place, and just went on a few holidays and sunbathed shit loads. I had no plan. Not even a paper plan of a plan. Savvy? Zero plans. Snow and I crossed paths by total coincidence during one of my zero plans and zero fucks to give days, and since then, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was fucking weird. Wherever I turned, he was there. Not in a stalker way, but in a fucking weird coincidence ‘why are we both here again?’ spooky way. I was happy to constantly bump into him but it got to the point I made a joke about the universe clearly pushing us together and I had to fight it off. I just didn’t get it. Why was this dude suddenly in my life every damn day?
After the random weird meets and the odd text, we decided to actively hang out. It took just 60 minutes at my pad for a tea and chat for me to realize I had severe feelings for this dude. Just one hour. Then just 5 days of hanging out for an hour or so a day for me to have fallen for him, and vice versa. That’s genuinely all it took. And more importantly, I fell in love with him before I had even kissed him. YAS YOU READ RIGHT. I hadn’t even kissed him or slept with him or shared a bed…nothing. But I was already irrevocably and unconditionally in love with Snow.
Thankfully, it took only 2 more days for Snow and I to become ‘official’. Since then? Well, there isn’t much else to say except that we’ve been inseparable. We took ‘whirlwind romance’ to the next level…I’m thinking more tornado romance. As soon as he came into my life I couldn’t comprehend what it was like before he existed, or how I’d be without him around. He’s changed everything. He moves, I move. It’s fucking insane and neither of us can comprehend it because it feels so surreal, but also so perfect.
When I say whirlwind, let me elaborate so you get the full extent of our immediate connection. We met, hung out for 5-7 days, became an item, 3 weeks after that I took him to Ireland with me for a blog review overnight stay…2 weeks after that he’s moved into my apartment with me…met my friends, my family and is now a huge factor in my ‘move to Singapore’ scenario. Another blog coming on that fucking bombshell!
I’ve never lived with a dude…ever. Yet with Snow, it felt so right living with me I wondered why we hadn’t done it sooner. I expect the cynics out there will claim this is your typical ‘too much too fast’ romance and will burn out as quickly as it lit…but I assure you, it’s just real love. When you know, you know.
But how do I actually know????
He knows my darkest of dark secrets that no other dude has ever known…and he doesn’t judge me for it. Vice versa. Within an hour of being at mine on our first proper meet, he spilled his life secrets out to me. It was weird, like we were compelled to tell each other everything, even though we were kinda still strangers at that point. Even now, I have this compelling ‘I must tell him’ mindset if anything slightly dodgy crops up. We have the most ridiculously honest relationship that I’ve ever seen, and it’s so refreshing.
All that bullshit with previous dudes, just is not there. The games, the lies, the worrying, the anxiety if they don’t reply, the ‘going ghost for days for no reason’ … it just doesn’t exist. I used to think those anxious butterflies waiting for a call that might not come was because I had feelings for the dude. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Snow has changed my entire perception on dating, men and love. If I had known it would be this easy, I’d never have bothered dating the morons in my twenties. What a waste of energy. Actual.
We accept each other, with as much baggage and shit as we both bring. Before, I would hide any flaws expecting my dudes to be a flight risk if I revealed I wasn’t quite perfect. Snow knows EVERYTHING…bad, good and damn right ugly. Does he care? He couldn’t give a shit. He makes me feel so protected and calm, even when I am on one. OH…and I am on one A LOT! But when Snow is near, I just seem to melt. That brings me to another point – I literally can’t be away from him. I just can’t. Even like, when he is at work I am a needy little fuck. And he is exactly the same!
That’s a good point to note, – everything I feel he feels too. Before, I always felt I was more into my relationships than the dude was. With Snow, we’re 50/50. We both say we love each other a billion times a day. He wants to come see me every spare moment he has, and I want to be around him constantly. Our love is, literally, all-consuming. A bit like these two, minus all the blood:
I am a pretty selfish person, but with Snow I put him first on everything. It’s not an active thought process…I just do it. I’d rather leave my dinner so he eats more than finish it myself. I’d rather sleep on the lounge floor when I am poorly so he gets a good night’s sleep in the bed. Like I said, he’s flipped my world 180. I could just chill with him in silence and feel like I haven’t wasted any of my time. Before, I was always having to do something, write something, be somewhere or see someone. Now, I would happily spend days on end doing nothing except being around him.
I’ve NEVER been a family kinda woman (shock horror I know) but with Snow, we’ve already discussed the future and it doesn’t freak me the fuck out. Life just feels right with him around, whatever the situation. Even moving to Singapore, minus Snow, is not an issue for me – I know 110% we’re going to be fine and the distance won’t be a problem. Sure, it’s going to be hard AF and every day without him around will kill me…but I’m well aware that our relationship is strong enough to survive the distance and time apart.
I can happily say, he’s The One. Even if we split up tomorrow, I’d still say he was the love of my life and I doubt any future man would be able to live up to him or replace him in my heart. I love him so much that his happiness will always come above my own – even if that meant he left me for someone else. It would KILL ME, literally kill me (I’d be dead, so dead) but I’d prefer it that way if it meant he was happy. THAT is how I know it is true love. It’s unconditional, selfless and uncontrolled.
You see, real love doesn’t make demands. It doesn’t throw out ultimatums or control you or force you to be someone you’re not. It doesn’t hold you back from your own life goals, nor does it bend you to suit someone else’s life dreams. Real love accepts you as you are, bad and good, and loves you for all of it. Real love accepts there will be difficult times, sad times, happy times…and stays strong throughout it all.
So, back to the question posed by my boy mate at the beginning. What do I do now? What happens when the single sex blogger falls in love? Actually, it’s all kind of come together. You see, due to my career move to Singapore, I am not able to continue the blog myself, but have two awesome new girls taking on the brand. So really, I can be as in love as I bloody well like. This will be alllllll explained in a future blog, so no stress for now. All you need to know is this…I’ve met the Love of My Life. And I couldn’t be happier. I’ll thus leave you on this perfect quote from The Notebook…