If you don’t know about Soft Paris yet, you can get up to speed on the French brand from my previous article here. Not one to shy away from anything sexual, naughty and nice, when they invited me to their Seduction Masterclass press event I was like ‘clear my schedule, I’m absolutely going’.
Held at Notting Hill’s quirky underground bar ‘Shimmy’, you’d have to know it was there otherwise you’d walk straight past. With double black doors leading the way to the staircase downstairs, as soon as you step inside you feel like you’ve entered a world made up between the cross of Tim Burton and Alice in Wonderland. With every inch of every wall covered in hand painted illustrations of trees, owls and a bear sitting on a toilet reading a book ‘Is the Pope Catholic’, you couldn’t help but feel like you’re in an imagination, rather than Porchester Road.
Greeted with the Soft Paris girls dressed up in masks, bunny or cat ears and handed a goody bag on arrival, we were led downstairs to receive the signature ‘French Letter’ cocktail created specifically for the event. I have NO idea what went into it, all I know was that the glasses were huge and each cocktail was topped off with champagne. Pink cupcakes peppered the bar area and yes, we did consume one or two. It would have been rude not to! Taking our seats that were all turned towards a large pink screen, the room filled with eager listeners (mainly women, three men in total I think were there!) and we were soon sitting in silence listening to the brand owner Annelolotte deliver her tips on seduction. She’s gorgeous, French, and has released her own brand of lingerie and sexual delights soooo, she clearly knows her stuff in the bedroom!
After the seduction masterclass, we were then enjoying some demonstrations from the Soft Paris Advisors, such as ‘the male pleasure, erotic massage’ which involved a lot of lube and a lot more giggling! To be fair I was tipsy from the French Letters by this point, so any embarrassment went completely out of the window! What was so great about this event was that, given the topic, it didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable. No-one was too shy to join in, and so many asked questions…making me confirm to myself that every woman is interested in this stuff, we just need to be in an environment where we feel we can say what we want, no judgment. And that it was. With a £180 raffle prize of Soft Paris goodies up for grabs…my lovely Miss Earp only went and won! This then meant we simply had to carry on the celebration with more wine and more French Letters. Such an amazing night, so good in fact, we were the last two in the venue. We were there even after it was actually all finished. I’d like to thank Flo, Kristina, Emma and of course Annelolotte for the invitation. Amazing evening ladies! And now for the good stuff, here’s the seduction tips from Annelolotte herself, enjoy ladies.
Most people have the generic seduction down, but here’s what to do, to go beyond the ordinary techniques, we’re talking long term and every day. Seduction needs to be both long term and every day otherwise it is basically just a one night stand.
At Soft Paris we believe that every woman is beautiful, so learn to love your femininity and sexuality and others are more likely to be seduced by your confidence too. If you’re happy with your own body, you’ll radiate the natural confidence that men are drawn to.
Pay Him Compliments
You know how great it feels to be paid a compliment by your partner? It’s lovely. Don’t forget to give him the same pleasure in return. Men too have their insecurities, so why not give him a little reassurance to boost his ego and create fireworks in the bedroom. We have choices in life – you choose to be with him – but why? Work out what makes him special / what makes him sexy in your eyes? And then go ahead and tell him. Make sure he knows why he’s the one who rocks your world! You may think he’ll develop a macho attitude if you boost his ego too much…wait for the next tip!
Make Yourself Scarce
A rare or scarce resource is a more desirable one – the simple laws of supply and demand. So be seductively elusive, keep yourself busy and appear unavailable. Sometimes. Don’t forget that you had a social life before your partner; keep on having a social life. Why not get away with your girlfriends or organise a night out, because as we all know; absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Sensuality vs Sexuality (French tip)
Imagination is often more powerful than reality, so let your partner dream-up what could be underneath your clothes by showing just a little glimpse of lace. Choose one aspect to focus on such as red lipstick or smoky eyes. Show only a glimpse of stockings. Once you’ve learnt to love your femininity, you will strike a better balance between being a tomboy and a super sexually charged female. Subtle sensuality vs sexuality is basically suggesting vs revealing (too much). It is not always necessary to wear short skirts and low cut top, e.g:
Low cut top OR short shirt – Not both
Eye make up OR red lipstick – Not both
Communicate Your Desires
So often women do not necessarily act to fulfill their own desires, but that of another person. Whilst this can be amazing for your partner, taking the initiative when it comes to communicating your own desires is sexy! It will empower you and targeting your own desires makes you more likely to have pleasure; something your partner will not be able to resist. Men get aroused by seeing their partner have pleasure.
Sex is Theatre
You may be the alpha female in the workplace and single handedly run the household…but you might consider letting him be in charge in the bedroom once in a while, and that can work the other way round too! We further develop this idea in our Mistress party: ‘how to become the lover of your partner through role play’. A good starting point is to give freedom in the bedroom by ‘becoming’ someone else. Have fun and forget about the other serious roles you take on in your daily life through role play, for instance be the maid who makes the bed, or a visiting nurse.
• Freedom in the bedroom is important.
• Become someone else, have fun and forget about the other stricter roles you need to have in your daily life – this means you can take on another persona!
• Equally your partner can become someone else.
This may work the other way round too!
• ‘Go to the doctor”
• ‘Order a pizza’
• Be the maid that makes the bed everyday – his fantasy could be a french maid – domesticity will become the art of seduction – allow it to become a labor of love – bend down suggestively to dust off the bedroom corners!
• ‘Be his personal trainer…’
• Go to the gym twice a week…
• When men are sick, we HAVE to transform ourselves into nurses. Do not wait until he is really sick!
Make Valentine’s Day Everyday
The media force feeds us romanticised ideas of Valentine’s gifts, but this often doesn’t translate to real-life relationships – most of us would be lucky to get a grunt let alone a bouquet of roses. The Valentine’s day you really deserve is filled with romance, intimacy and great sex! So to keep the fire burning remember that it is not so much about the gift but about the gift of love and maintaining the feeling for the rest of the year.
Make it your romantic resolution: to make Valentine’s day, every day.