New Year, New Men

It’s that time of the year again. The traditional New Year’s Eve massive piss up celebrations have come and gone and social media is streamed with new age Socrates and Plato replacements, offering philosophical remarks on their “New Year New Me” attitude.

Everyone has tagged you and their 45 other mates that you don’t know into a status on Facebook to wish you all a wonderful new year. They mention all their triumphs of the last year and most declare they’ve had highs and lows. 365 days would usually secure both high and low moments in my eyes. This sets of your notifications vibrating every time someone else you don’t know existed comments on aforementioned status. Great.

However what you can’t deny about the prospect of one year ending and a New Year beginning is the feeling of a fresh start. We’re all fattened out like battery hens and wanting to feel healthy and alive again. A new year gives us the idea that we can almost start over- make changes to our lives, personality, looks, routine and combat old internal grudges. It’s a nice thought, but is it practical?

I mean really…how many of you are actually going to attend the gym every morning 5 days a week for the rest of your life? You’ll make it to end of January at a push. And I don’t see how you can resolve to be the ‘happier’ version of you. You’re just you…that’s who you are. 1st January doesn’t suddenly realign the stars and amend the holes in your personality. If only it was that easy.

But what you CAN do, I guess, is make small changes that you are able to stick to. Like trying to quit smoking, becoming vegan, drinking less alcohol, putting money into a savings account each month – set yourself achievable resolutions. Anything negative you wasn’t overly happy about the previous year, set to amend it or forget it. Considering I think I’m pretty okay as I am, I’m going to do exactly that…but with my men.

Because, let’s be honest here, I date arseholes. I really do. I have a radar for dickheads or cheaters. Men that either cheat on me or try get with me to cheat on their girlfriends. Either way it’s bullshit. And sure, I can go on and on claiming all dudes are dicks or I can accept my own part that I play in this. I am attracted to these morons. For whatever reason, if he’s even a hint of a tosser, I end up dating him. And this IS something I can rectify, which is exactly what I’ll be doing.

Sure, making this declaration will not stop me encountering the odd bellend, but I can amend the way I react. Namely tell the dude to go jump and never date him. I can’t stop the guys being twats but I can at least stop dating them. That is something within my control. Hurrah for that. Although it would also be nice if you lot just decided to not be a knob, but don’t worry I’m not holding my breath.

And so my new year’s resolution is not the cliché ‘new me’ (why would I, I’m pretty amazing) but new men. My search for new men will lead me heading to places I’d not normally swing by, and approaching dudes I may not have looked at twice before. Also, and this is the real clincher, I’m going to stop burning old flames or texting dead ends. I mean really, the amount of energy I’ve wasted on guys who were either overly obsessed or indifferent…it’s a bit of luck I have unlimited texts and whatsapp is free let me tell you. Once whatsapp becomes well expensive we’re all fucked.

What I’ve also got used to doing, which I refuse to do anymore, is explain myself and my job to potential guys. The amount of times men have questioned me or asked about Sex & London City or dated me on the assumption I carry a cock ring in my purse as standard…sorry to disappoint. Yes, I am a sex blogger. Yes, I’m pretty fucking good at it (let’s not argue with Cosmopolitan magazine!) and yes, to be good at what I do, I guess you’d need extensive experience. But let me tell you, boys, it doesn’t define ME. I am and do a lot more. And no, you don’t already ‘know’ me. I do have a private life and I do date men that no one knows about because they don’t go on S&LC. It just depends on what happens and what I wish to share. The guy I am going to settle with will be the man who says…I don’t care wtf you write, as long as we’re cool I’m happy. I’m sure he’s out there, laid back and open minded, I just need to bump into him. Like I said, new year, new men. Wish me luck!


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