So there’s this boy. The boy with the Marilyn tattoo. For argument’s sake, we’ll call him Malone (I think I’ll severely emasculate him if I call him Marilyn). I’ve known him for a while now, but we’ve only started engaging in the last month or so….and I’m kinda into it.
He’s the complete opposite to me in many ways, and so in tune in others. I’m a talker (seriously, I don’t shut up) whereas he listens, I’m always running around and energetic whilst he is self-confessed lazy, I’m a planner, he runs with free reign. I’ll make plans, he’ll break them. Sounds like we’re the most incompatible two people on the planet, but actually it’s a case that opposites really do attract. Its not all swings and roundabouts though – I’ve found a guy that has a similar creative flare and as a tattooist Malone’s drawings are absolutely amazing. When I want to de-stress I’ll grab a pad and pencil and so completely appreciate someone who can also do this for both work and pleasure. However, he can’t paint and I totes can, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it Malone! (sorry, needed to get that off my chest).
Sounds promising doesn’t it? I think so too. Just a few years older than me…even his age, situation and location works. Have I mentioned yet that he is stunningly beautiful? Yep, really is. If I could add a photo I would, just for you all to say ‘swoon, Nix we get ya now girl’. I mean sure, he’s your typical pretty Essex boy …except that is actually what he isn’t. Essex boy = player right? Apparently not. I have been told by him on several occasions that he really doesn’t date much, at all, and definitely doesn’t date more than one person at a time. I find this difficult to believe considering 1) anyone within their right mind would want to lick cream off his chest 2) he’s a single twenty something dude. Is he saying this just for my benefit to keep me sweet, or have I finally stumbled across a genuine guy worthy of my attention? Go figure.
This leads me nicely onto my next blip. Having spent the last month getting to know him as much as he will allow, I am continually faced with the same expressions that he nips into conversation as and when he can: “I take things very slow, very slow in fact” and “I don’t want to lead you on or give you false impressions, nor do I want to hurt you down the line”. This doesn’t just ring alarm bells in my head, it’s ringing bellowing bells all over the city halls across the UK (that is a lot of bells btw). What does he mean? And why does he insist on reminding me every week of these negative attributes? We’ll have an amazing time together, then BAMN the next day text reply will include a variation of the above. I assume he’s setting me up for a fall, keeping me at arm’s length just to double check I don’t fall head over heels in love with this ‘one man band’ (another direct quote right there ladies). But why is he already so insistent we won’t work? It’s not been any where near long enough to tell yet! I just wanna chill the fuck out and enjoy dating but every time I try he slaps the ‘future let down’ post-it note on my forehead. Not literally of course, that would just be weird. *awkward post-it note silence* Plus, if he is wishing to keep me at arms length…why would he already have created a pet name for me? Which, just to let you know, is “Ginger”…NOT because I am a secret ginger, but I think as in “Fred and Ginger” perhaps? God only knows.
He also phases in and out. Some days he’s a chatter, others he is in his “man cave” (Note girls, if a man goes into his man cave, leave him be. He’ll come out when he’s ready!). His job is, quite literally 24/7, which I totally get and admire. Considering I hold down a full time Editor job and run this website, I am totally on board with the ‘too busy to be with anyone’ vibe but if I like someone, I will always find time to be around them. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Nixie, he’s just playing you off, get rid” but the problem is I genuinely believe he isn’t. I mean I’ve even called it a day three times now as I sensed he was pulling away and just thought to myself ‘lets leave it as nice memories and be mates’. But every time Malone has come back with some honest and understandable explanation and asked to see me again. And trust me on this, no girl in her right mind would say no. *swoons some more*
If he hadn’t been so attentive, so honest, so open about his emotions and so god-damn fricking cute, I would have walked the first time I said ‘take care’. Because he is hard work fo’ sure. But I think he’s worth it. So what if he takes it slow…that’s a good thing in my eyes. So what if he’s wary of hurting me down the line…at least he’s already concerned with my feelings. All I need to do is convince him that I really am NOT going to pick out engagement rings next week, that I am more than happy to just go with the flow and perhaps…PERHAPS we might actually be good for each other and he may not need to ‘let me down’ because I’ll be there for him, and hopefully vice versa.
Next step? I really don’t know. Hang out, play by his rules and fingers crossed show him that whatever concerns he has, I’ll be okay with it. It might just be a case that the boy’s been hurt before, badly, and is extremely protective of himself. If that’s the case – Malone, I’m worth the risk! Or, perhaps he is the biggest bestest player ever and this is all part of the show to get me eating out of the palm of his hand. In which case, I bow down and bow out gracefully! Only time will tell. I’ll keep you updated girlies.
P.s He really does have a Marilyn tattoo, but with regards to the article it has no relevance whatsoever. I just couldn’t resist the play on words. I’m sad like that.