As always, on my quest to share the reality of the dating world in the Big Smoke, I’m exploring all avenues to relay to you lovely singletons caught in a similar dating web. This time, the web is real – the online version. With the Internet dominating our every move, it comes as no surprise that Internet dating has soared in the last few years and many have turned to this platform in order to search for their plus one.
True, it cuts out all the drunken bar bullshit chit-chat and at least you know the guy is already single (we can only hope they don’t also have a missus) but how much does finding a guy online really lead to long term happiness? Are we not forcing ourselves to judge books by the cover…only accepting requests from dudes with hot profile photos or a decent profile write up rather than actual physical chemistry? Is it even safe to start an online discourse when it really could be anyone sitting at a screen chatting you up? Or…is it actually better to date online, giving you time to get to know someone prior to a date rather than meeting them when you’re out, exchanging digits and hooking up right away?
To try answer some of these probing questions for you lasses, I’ve signed up to a dating website to see what it is really like in the maze that is the online dating forum. I rustled up a convincing ‘I’m looking for my perfect one’ profile bio, and added the below photos that are a generic selection from my facebook page:
The result? Let’s just say, 2 days in and I was already regretting being on there. My notifications were going off on my phone so often it was like it had turned into a vibrator, stuck in the ‘on’ position. After painstakingly finding a way to turn off the instant notifications and emails..I would then log in to my account and get inundated with messages from guys wishing to hook up over the last week. Obviously I should be flattered and if I didn’t get any responses I’m sure I’d be upset, but for god’s sake does it have to be this annoying? I’m pissed off before I’ve even opened the 50th message, so even though the poor soul is probably a winner, I’ll automatically hit ‘delete’ just to de-stress.
Then we come to the actual messages. If I have to read another “Hello ;)” I’ll scream. If you take time to message someone, at least shove some effort and imagination in so they’ll want to respond! And don’t punch above your weight just because it’s behind a laptop – if you wouldn’t dream of approaching someone on a night out, I would say don’t bother online either, the response will be 9/10 the same. Here’s a few beauties from my inbox that make me giggle:
how rude of you looked at my profile and not say hi tut tut x.
Have a look and a read of my profile, it you think its any good feel free to message me.
Give me a chance, I guarantee to put a smile on your face.
I fancy u bad x.
Cool profile, not sure how much of it is standard and what is fantasy but it’s still cool.. Ha.
Hola hola pepsi cola! Hi Nixalina, how’s it going? All ok? 🙂 Date me… I’m near Central London by the way 😉
You are gorgeous i have to say
although beauty’s common these days but you do have a certain sparkle about you
that caught my attention! Hopefully i’ll catch yours…. 😉
….and here’s my all time favourite:
Blimey, just read your profile, your way out of my leauge, I’m a stripper lol
As you can see, it’s leaves much to be desired. I doubt any guy would come up to me at a bar and say “hey hun, you’re hot and I’m a stripper”, but there you go. ‘Hola hola pespi cola’ made me chuckle, until I saw that wasn’t a well thought out private message to me…but also his profile tag line to everyone. Let’s just say none of the guys behind these inspirational messages got a reply from me, on the basis of lack of banter and general interest. I did hand over my email address to one rather cute and decent sounding lad, who then swiftly got blanked after his first email to me included a request of photos of my hands and feet..to satisfy his foot fetish. Yuk.
Apart from a slight ego boost, I can safely say online dating has done nothing for me, except clog up my emails, piss me off and make me question the male species once again. Perhaps I’m just a bussy fitch, but I am sure as hell not going on meaningless blind dates just for the sake of dating, online or otherwise. Give me a 3D dude and a real life bar over internet forums any day of the week.