The saying goes, ‘
Old Bad Habits Die Hard’, which couldn’t be more relevant to where I am right now with my love life. Having had feedback from ‘Confessions of a Sex Addict’ and reflected upon the programme myself, I have inevitably looked into my past relationships and ‘types’ of men I am drawn to.
The most common questions that have risen since the show aired are ‘How could you be attracted to that type of man? Are you not still angry with him? You were giggling LOTS, do you think you still fancy him?’ etc etc you get the jist.
I obviously wasn’t too mad with Jeff, and I was giggling a lot because, I genuinely find him funny. What was more concerning for me to realise, is that I am always attracted to a
dickhead bad boy. Jeff was obviously not the committed type when we met, yet I still went with it because he was fun and confident, even though he was clearly not going to be a ‘decent’ man with any relationship substance. But I guess that is why they call it ‘fatal attraction’.
With similar traits from Jeff in all of my past boyfriends, I guess it is time I hold my hands up and say ‘Hi, I’m Nixalina and I love a bad boy’. I can’t help it. I know I’m not alone either. In fact I’d happily say, the majority of the female population love a bad boy. He doesn’t have to be cruel, or nasty, or outright rude to you to be declared a bad boy. He can in fact be extremely alluring, shower you with
fake comments compliments and gifts until you’re swept off into cloud 9 then BAMN – he runs off with another trashy bitch girl on your birthday night out and gets instant bad boy status. We spend too much time sipping vino with our gal pals tearing our minds and hearts apart trying to find the reason as to why he stopped calling/ran off with the neighbour/blocked all the emails/changed his status to in a relationship on facebook but with someone else. I could go on.
Rest assured, after aforementioned break up and countless girly nights on the
prowl town, we’ll forget the pain of the last guy and fall hook line and sinker in love with the next bad boy that stumbles our way. This is confusing considering we vowed to ourselves the first time round we’d never fall for the same type twice. Is it because we’re all man-loving idiots? Is it because we all have selected memory loss? Nope, I think it’s because:
We all love what we know is bad for us
I can only explain this with one action. When a
cocky gorgeous cute guy recently winked at me 3 times within a couple of hours, as far as I was concerned it was game over. I would have probably married him on the spot if he’d asked. He was so confident, funny and charming I was butter in his hands. What should have been happening is alarm bells ringing in my head *insert annoying alarm sounds here* as I think ‘Wow, he’s clearly a charmer and obviously confident with the ladies, so he probably does this to a lot of girls in which case I should stay clear as he has potential bad boy status’ but in reality my thoughts were ‘He’s so hot when he winks at me, I want his number and his hand in marriage NOW’.
Loving a bad boy isn’t all bad (excuse the pun!) if you accept that is what they are and it suits your lifestyle. However, if you’re like me and love a bad boy yet weep and moan and whine when he screws you over, it becomes a bit like a broken record and people start to think you’re a
stupid twat masochist. I’m aware that I have ‘BBD’ (bad boy disorder) when perfectly amazing guys come my way, tell me they’re bowled over by everything I am and I thank them for being such a great boy mate…because I’m just not interested in anything more.
It’s a vicious circle for us ladies with BBD, especially when we’re tired of being single and wish to settle down. How do we draw the line and fall for a
boring good guy AND be completely happy with the man on our arms. If he’s keeping me on my toes, if he seems extremely slightly arrogant, if he can easily spend days shagging elsewhere without calling me, I’m hooked. And how much do I wish this wasn’t so!
I would love to end this article with uplifting anecdotes, mind blowing revelations and easy-to-follow steps towards curing BBD to share with you lovelies, so we can all move on and
have babies settle down and get married live life happily ever after. But I can’t. So I guess unless you lot have some pearls of wisdom for me, we’re all doomed to spend our days in turmoil over the last bad boy who bought us a car only so he can drive it into the sunset with our fugly ex best mate. That didn’t happen to me btw, but I reckon it sums up the tosser Bad Boy nicely!