Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Masturbation: Why we don't and why we should


Guest post by Paco Penne

Masturbation is awesome, and this should not be up for debate. It feels good, it's easy, and you don't need anyone's help.

And yet, you probably don't do it every day. 

For women, this makes a little more sense. Masturbation takes a bit longer, and is harder to force. Men, however, can knock one out on command. It can take under a minute if necessary.

It shouldn't be surprising that, for most guys, it's not a daily ritual. Many of us, consciously or subconsciously, see daily masturbation as unhealthy for physical or psychological reasons.

The thing is, there's absolutely no truth to this. In fact, it is healthier to masturbate every day!

Let's take a quick look at what's stopping you from masturbating, before we dive into the true benefits of daily self-pleasure.

For shame: Can religion kill our buzz?

It's no secret that many Western religions hate masturbation. Christian society is so against it that anti-masturbation measures have, in many ways, shaped the modern world: including, believe it or not, the creation of Corn Flakes, the Boy Scouts, and daily shower routines.

There are various reasons given for this antipathy. It is referred to as self-abuse, that it has a degenerative influence on the soul, or ruins the chance of a fulfilling marriage. Some religious leaders use the absurdly unscientific reasoning that masturbation is basically killing  potential children by "wasting" your sperm.

Now, you know that this is bullshit. You know that masturbating doesn't make you a bad person (or go blind). You know that sperm is constantly being created and the idea of wastage is borderline moronic. You know that happily married people masturbate, whether alone or together.

But the shame stays with you. There's a part of you saying, "this is wrong", that often taints the pleasure. Sometimes, when you're not that horny, the internalised shame is enough to make masturbation seem unappealing or dirty, and not in the good way.

Even those who didn't grow up in a religious household or community can be familiar with this shame. There are incredibly few households where kids feel comfortable talking about masturbation. And there's always a fear associated with the possibility of being caught. It's just not something considered natural and healthy.

There's no easy way to rid yourself of the shame. However, being aware of it is enough to stop it from having much of an effect on you. You can recognise the shame as a relic, that no longer matters, and let it be. 

Of course, this only matters if you're committed to regular masturbation, and we still need to discuss just why it's so important.

Yes, there are health benefits

I'm not going to go too deeply into the health benefits, because it'd probably take up the whole blog post and you can read about them here and here in way more depth. I don't want to flog a dead horse (not a euphemism).

In short, daily orgasms can help prevent cancer, reduce insomnia, help you recover from colds more quickly, and help you live longer.

But, Paco Penne from The Adonis Alpha, wants us to focus on masturbation in a less utilitarian sense. Masturbation is not only healthy, but it's a fantastic point to build your day around.

Use masturbation for balance

I don't mean that you should cancel plans or miss out on social interactions in order to masturbate, which is when it gets unhealthy. 

What I do mean is that your daily masturbation should be the focal point that you use to find your balance. Even if you just set aside five minutes to masturbate in the morning.

Remember the shame we spoke about? Well, that shame is one of the reasons masturbation is so good for your balance. 

You're in control

When you're aware of the shame and you masturbate without getting caught up in it, you're making a statement that you're in control of your life. It reminds you that you're no longer bogged down by old insecurities and other people's opinions.

This is especially pertinent when you feel claustrophobic because of your work or life circumstances. The most tyrannical boss cannot stop you from feeling pleasure. A bad relationship cannot take that away from you. If you want to feel good, the power is literally in your hands.

You've got the goods

And that leads us neatly to another reason why masturbation balances you: it reminds you how powerful you are. Not only do you have the free choice to give to yourself, but you also have all the resources at your disposal. Using nothing but what nature, or coincidence, gave you, you can create intense pleasure.

Again, this is a powerful statement when you feel like you're not enough. No matter how much money you make, no matter how difficult you're finding it to live up to others' expectations, you can always take time to remind yourself that, just by existing, you're a powerful being who deserves to feel good.

It's all about you

Essentially, masturbation can be an expression not only of your autonomy, but also that you matter. It's something that's easy to forget when you're not meeting deadlines, not where you want to be in your career, not having luck in love, or for whatever reason you're down on yourself.

That one act, whether at the beginning or end of the day, whether an hour long session or a 30 second jerk off, is a statement: you're important enough to take control of your own life, to make things work for you, and to feel pleasure for its own sake. 

With that attitude, you will boss the rest of your day. Work will feel more meaningful - or at the very least, a means to a worthwhile end. Other people will no longer get you down.

You'll keep everything in perspective, remaining alert to the fact that the hard parts of life do not define you.

You matter, and so does your pleasure. Now, live that way!
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