Tuesday, 26 October 2010

"Why Men Love Bitches" – the woman’s new Bible


So I was in that ‘phase’, you know…you’ve finally got over that guy who ripped you in two, but you still play back the memories like a broken record in your mind trying to work out the outcome had you behaved differently. Worse still, you’re rummaging around in depths of your existence, trying to bring back the confidence and self esteem you had before aforementioned male.

Whilst contemplating all possible meaning of the words ‘you’re an utter bitch,’ I heard my fellow Benebabes on the counter twittering on about ‘the new bible, a book so profound it has saved marriages’ and I simply had to know what they’re discussing. This was when I was first introduced to the book “Why Men love Bitches”. Girls…read on.

Sherry Argov (author) begins by aptly comparing the ‘nice girl’ to the ‘bitch’, in the sense of how men view these two types of women. It is significant to note, she does not denote the typical meaning to the word ‘bitch.’ It is not a derogatory name, but instead refers to a woman who is as equally feminine and sweet like the ‘nice girl’, but she can HOLD HER OWN.

“One of the things women have to get out of their mindest is the notion of what a bitch is. A bitch is nice. She’s sweet as a Georgia peach. She smiles and she is feminine. She just doesn’t make decisions based on the fear of losing a man.”


As a nice girl, we tend to their every whim, without really knowing it. When reading what the nice girl does, you say in your head “Oh god what a sap, I wouldn’t stand to be around someone as needy as that” but then you realise your behaviour was similar, if not identical towards the man you’ve just lost. The nice girl would happily postpone her plans to cater for his last minute date suggestion, whereas the bitch would tell him she’s busy, and he’s too late. The nice girl waits for a call, and moans when he calls 4 hours later than planned, or cries when he cancels on her because she feels he has lost interest, whereas the bitch will keep quiet about her discontent, and pull away from him so he starts to wonder why she’s now aloof, and comes crawling back. The nice girl nags and discusses her emotions until she’s blue in the face (which just switches him off btw) whereas the bitch says nothing, but changes her routine knowing her actions will affect him more than whiney words.

“When a nice girl over-compensates, her behaviour says ‘What I have to offer isn’t enough, and who I am isn’t enough.’ The bitch, on the other hand, gives a very different message. ‘Who I am is enough. Take it or leave it.'”

Girls, Argov is not suggesting you change who you are, she’s just explaining that if we wish to keep the man’s interest, we simply value ourselves more than we value him. A guy will complain when you argue back, will call five times when you ignore his one call, and will throw a mood if you don’t give in to his every will, but secretly this is what keeps him THERE, with you. The bitch also knows how to communicate with him on his level, clear, concise and to the point, so that when she talks, he listens. It is the bitch who ends up with a man who has fallen in love with her without even realising it, and a nice girl who ends up being threatened with restraining orders and blocked calls.

“You don’t always have to agree with everything he believes. A man falls in love with a woman when he feels he has ‘met his match’.”

Whilst she delves into the mindset of a man, and displays how wrong we all really are about what men want or need, Argov also outlines the 100 Attraction Principles. Below are my favourites:

Attraction Principle 1: Anything a person chases in life runs away.

Attraction Principle 9: If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.

Attraction Principle 15: Whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he’ll resent it. Let him give what he wants freely; then observe who he is.

Attraction Principle 23: Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and the woman isn’t.

Attraction Principle 34: When you appear softer and more feminine, you appeal to his instinct to protect. When you appear more aggressive, you appeal to his instinct to compete.

Attraction Principle 39: Men don’t respond to words. They respond to no contact.

Attraction Principle 52: When you nag, he tunes you out. But when you speak with your actions, he pays attention.

Attraction Principle 72: Most men tend to disrespect a woman who appears too malleable.

Attraction Principle 79: When a man views a woman as a ‘little girl’ or a sister he has to take care of, the passion diminishes. He doesn’t want to make love to his sister.

Attraction Principle 86: The more independent you are of him, the more interested he will be.

Attraction Principle 98: Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way.

Attraction Principle 100: The most attractive quality of all is dignity.

I read this book in two days. Both of which I spent 7 hours of the day working on the shop floor, which speaks volumes for ‘the new Bible’. What amuses me the most after finishing is that I have, for a while now, perceived myself as a hard-nosed bitch, but in fact I appease my man like no other and share all submissive qualities that the nice girl portrays. This is certainly not happening from now on! You may not agree with every comment made, nor may you agree with some of the attraction principles Argov outlines, but regardless I can promise you will come away feeling empowered as a woman and ready to define who YOU are in your relationship or dating situation. I could write another 3000 words on this, but I think I’ll leave the rest for you to discover yourself.

Buy it, read it and you won’t regret it.

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1 comment

  1. Love this article, very true, might give that book a little read!

    ReplyDelete

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